Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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