you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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