Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
