Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
