I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
