But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
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