i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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