So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
