So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
