No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
