my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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