margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
