I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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