During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize