i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
