Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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