I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize