As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
