IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
