honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
