honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
