I'm lost and stupid without you.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
