Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
