People in love make me want to vomit
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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