this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
