If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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