His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
