I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They took my balls.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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