was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
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I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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