She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
