also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
