Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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