So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
