i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
