Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
