it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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