I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
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