you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
