do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
