we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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