Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
