my mouth tastes like poor choices
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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