Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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