Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize