you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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