I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
