Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She just used a chaser for red wine.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.