Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD