Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty