I accidentally had phone sex last night
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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