i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
