is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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