it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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