A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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