Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
