After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize