i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize