I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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